I’m pretty sure this has happened to everyone: you’re about to sleep, and your brain suddenly decides to replay the Top 5 Embarrassing Moments of your life from five years ago.
It’s kind of funny—and annoying—because this happens to me all the time. And I bet you’re wondering, why does my brain do this? Like, why not show happy memories instead? Why is it always the embarrassing ones?
Keep reading, because I’m going to explain why embarrassing moments stick while the happy ones fade away. I’ll also share a few tips on how to let go of those moments and move on.
Table of Contents
What Are Embarrassing Memories?
To put it simply, embarrassing memories are those moments where you felt uncomfortable, ashamed, or awkward. Like when you were giving a school presentation and messed up a word, or your voice cracked and your hands started shaking. That actually happened to me once—I was holding the paper, and my hands were shaking in front of everyone. Super embarrassing.
But hey, you’re not alone. If you want to see other people share their stories, check out this: People Share Their Embarrassing School Memories.
These types of memories are called emotional memories—they’re tied to strong emotions and tend to be more vivid and long-lasting than neutral or boring ones.
The Science of Memory: A Quick Primer
Our brain stores memories by strengthening connections between neurons (brain cells). When two neurons activate together often, their connection—called a synapse—gets stronger. This makes it easier to recall that memory later.
New memories are first formed in the hippocampus. If we repeat or think about something enough, it moves to long-term storage in the neocortex (the outer layer of the brain).
Emotional memories get a boost from a brain area called the amygdala. That’s why we remember really good or really bad events more easily than normal stuff.
Also, there’s something called flashbulb memories—these are super vivid and long-lasting memories of surprising or shocking events.
Why Embarrassment Sticks: The Psychological Explanation
Embarrassing memories stick because they involve strong emotions. Like I said earlier: emotional memories are stronger because the amygdala boosts them.
But there’s more. Embarrassment also triggers self-awareness and social anxiety. That makes the memory even more intense. Plus, our brains have something called a negativity bias—we naturally focus more on bad things than good ones.
Imagine you go on vacation and check into a luxury hotel. Everything’s perfect: the service, the food, the room, the view. But right before you leave, you go into the bathroom and see a giant spider in the tub.
What’s the memory that sticks with you the most? Yep—the spider.
Why Happy Moments Fade Faster
Happy memories fade faster because of repetition. Think about birthdays: they’re nice, but they happen every year. They become normal.
Bad memories, on the other hand, are unique. That makes them stand out more.
Another reason: after a happy moment, we often return to our regular problems and stress. That brings our mood back down, so the happy feeling doesn’t last long. True, lasting happiness only happens when all your important needs are satisfied at the same time—and let’s be honest, that’s pretty rare.
Is It Bad to Remember Embarrassing Stuff?
Honestly, it’s both good and bad.
It’s good because you can learn from those experiences. But it’s bad if you keep overthinking them. It can hurt your confidence or even lead to anxiety or depression.
Can We Forget or Let Go of These Moments?
The big question: Can we forget embarrassing moments?
The short answer: No. Our brains aren’t built to just erase stuff like that.
I wich I could do that to watch that one movie again lol
But here’s the good news: you don’t need to forget. You just need to stop caring. Don’t waste time trying to forget it—it’s a trap. And don’t use temporary solutions like drugs or alcohol. That’ll only make things worse.
What I do personally is try not to think about it. I distract myself with things I enjoy—watching movies, playing games, etc. I just say to myself, “Whatever. It is what it is.” Then I move on.
People probably don’t even remember that embarrassing moment you’re stuck on. Everyone has their own problems—they’re not thinking about you 24/7. And even if someone makes fun of you, just ignore it. Seriously—it’s pointless to carry that weight for years when you’re the only one still thinking about it.
